The Writer in Me | Blogging Challenge 2025

This era is one of the few moments that I am unable to figure out who I really am. 

Am I a Team Leader?
Am I a blogger?
Am I a working student? 

I do not recognize this stage of my life. 

I used to be so sure of who I was, and yet.. here I am questioning my very being.

I guess it comes with the territory of starting over. It's also time to redefine myself, and rediscover who I truly am. Maybe this is what starting over truly feels like.. when the old definitions no longer fit, and the new ones haven’t fully formed yet.

A strange in-between.

At my very core, I am a writer. I've always said, my pen and paper will always be more patient than human ears. 

I used to write about everything that I was going through, but somehow I lost that as I went along this life. I became a lot more guarded with my thoughts and feelings. I became more distrustful of the people around me and eventually, distrustful of myself. 

I learned to keep my thoughts and ideas to myself. I learned to silence myself. To keep my ideas locked away, not even trusting the journals that had once been my closest companions. I even started doubting that I was still a writer.

I felt that if I wasn’t sharing my words, or even allowing myself to put them down at all, then maybe the title didn’t belong to me anymore.

Because if I wasn’t writing, did I still deserve to call myself one?

Every time I needed a moment to myself, however, every time there is a quiet moment.. I still look for pen and paper. I still keep a tiny steno pad and a green pen in my bag. I still keep mementoes from every moment in my life in a brown envelope, waiting for the right moment to be pasted down and remembered. I guess it's still there, somewhere. The Writer in me may not have left after all. 

What I think now, writing doesn’t leave me, even when I turn my back on it. It waits. Patiently. Quietly. Until I’m ready to return. 

Perhaps that's why I have that tiny journal in my bag, after all? 
Why I keep collecting mini notepads?

Why nothing compares to the joy of being gifted a good pen or a blank journal.

The Writer in me bid her time. 

Now, it's time for her to return. 

This season, this integration of all of me.. it’s a way of reclaiming the pieces I’ve scattered over the years. I am not just a team leader. Not just a student. Not just a blogger. I am all of those things, pieced together, informed by every stage of who I’ve been and who I am becoming.

Woven together by the writer in me, who has always been there, through every version of myself. The good ones, the bad ones, and even the ones I couldn't even remember anymore.

So maybe this moment isn’t about having all the answers. Maybe it’s about learning how to hold all the questions.

Maybe it’s about remembering that being a writer isn’t about never doubting... it’s about writing anyway.

And if I can do that, then perhaps I’ve never lost myself at all.